Domestic
by hersheybar24
Summary: Leo is about to cook Christmas dinner on the Argo II. Is there a reason why he is doing this by himself? My first fanfiction! Warning:Swear words


AN: Hi, mootiness! This is my first fanfiction, so hope you like it!

Here goes nothing.

Being domestic:

Leo frowned at the frying pan. Naturally, since he was the owner of "Chef Leo's Taco Garage," he had put himself in charge of cooking Christmas dinner. Besides, after the last few days, Leo had seen enough of the crew's cooking to know that even the gods couldn't help them.

See, over the last few days, they had tried a system where each demigod would cook breakfast for a day. Brilliant idea by the crew's very own Sparky, right?

Wrong.

Why? Demigods cannot cook. Under any circumstances. Ever.

Example number one:

Annabeth Chase:

Hers wasn't a cooking issue, it was what she had cooked for everyone.

She had trudged into the kitchen, muttering obscenities towards Jason under her breath.

"I swear to Hades, after I am finished with this useless piece of crap, I will kick Jason's sorry ass back to Long Island Sound. Breakfast? What good is that?"

As she did this, she had grabbed a handful of oranges and put them on the frying pan. Leo had walked in there, frowned, and started to speak.

"Uh, Anna-"

"Leo, I am not about to put up with your obscene and stupid jokes at the moment. Leave me alone,"

"But-"

"Now, Leo. Or else."

Leo had saluted and left as quickly as his scrawny legs could carry him. They had had scrambled oranges and egg yolk for breakfast that day.

When breakfast was finally ready, Frank had stormed in, hungry as an army. He grabbed the first glass he saw, and started to gulp it down. Slowly, he turned from purple, to green, to pale white, and then back to green.

Leo had laughed. "Hey, Zhang. We all know that you could turn into a chameleon, but you don't have to show off,"

Frank had shot him a dirty look, and then managed to choke out a "Raw eggs?!" before then sprinting towards the nearest sink, and emptying the contents of his stomach into the sink. He then shot Percy a look, as if to say that it was Percy's fault that Annabeth was so distracted she couldn't even cook breakfast.

Boy, was she one distracted girl.

Example two:

Percy Jackson.

He had scared the bejesus out of Leo when he had first met him, but his cooking scared Leo even more.

Apparently, he and Jason were having a bet that Percy couldn't cook at all.

Jason and Percy had been having an argument about which element would be better, and it had quickly escalated into something very dangerous.

A bet.

Jason had bet Percy that he couldn't cook even if his life depended on it. Percy had disagreed, accepted his challenge, and then enlisted Piper's help.

"Come on, Beauty girl, you have to help me out. Pretty please?"

She had frowned, and had said, "Isn't that cheating?"

He had grinned, and had said, "Of course not, he didn't say I couldn't enlist anyone's help,"

"That is evil, my friend. All right, I'll help you out."

"Quick thinking, one of the few things that Annabeth taught me that I actually got," Percy chuckled, grinning to himself.

The next morning, there was smoke coming from the kitchen, and screams.

"Jackson, don't you have any freaking sense? For the love of Aphrodite, put the fire out!"

The rest of the crew had run up there, worried that someone was dying.

Hazel had frowned, and had started to speak.

"Shouldn't we-"

Jason had smiled, and shook his head.

"No, I am about to get twenty dollars richer, Hazel. We'll help when they especially need it,"

Meanwhile, Percy had been shrieking, screaming "How? How?"

Piper had screamed right back at him," Aren't you the freaking son of Poseidon? Use you water powers, you idiot!"

Percy had done this, but due to it being a gasoline fire, it had only escalated, growing larger and larger.

"I knew this was a bad idea!" he had shrieked.

Leo had gone over there, put his hand in the fire, and willed it to stop. It had died down, and Jason had walked over there, grinning smugly.

"I believe that I am now twenty dollars richer," he had smirked, waving his hands in front of Percy's face.

Percy had reached into his pockets, put the money into Jason's hand, and muttered a curse or two towards Jason. He then had picked himself up, and headed towards the bathroom.

Example number three:

Reyna.

Boy, Leo knew that she was military commando, but he didn't know that she was this military commando.

When it was her turn, she hadn't even turned on the stove. She had simply taken out the tableware, and a couple of raw steaks. She then put one on each plate, and then waited for everyone to arrive.

Leo was the first one to suffer from this catastrophe. He had skidded in, taken one of the forks, and started attacking the food on his plate. (Hey, in his defense, he was a growing boy.) He was pretty sure that he had turned a nauseating green, and he puked right there on the floor. At that moment, Jason had walked in and nearly fell in the puddle of puke.

"Leo, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

Leo had glared daggers at him, cursing under his breath. He then finally managed to speak.

"Dude, I knew that Romans were all military commando, but red meat?"

Jason had stared and then proceeded to leave the room before he could get infected with anything.

After those three incidents, Leo didn't need to mention anything else. For example, Nico feeding them all dog biscuits. Or Hazel cooking them food, but then accidently melting the silverware into the food. Or the time where Jason had accidently electrocuted the chicken, thinking that it was moving.

Percy's voice came from the hallway.

"Leo, do you need any help? I could help you out,"

Leo cringed, and had decided to get a move on with the cooking.

"No, I'm good! Thanks, dude!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yep!"

"Okay, whatever you say,"

Leo sighed, and pulled out a knife. Hopefully, Christmas wouldn't have them fighting off monsters or something of the sort.

**THE END.**

AN: Well, I hope that wasn't completely horrible, and that I hoped to appease you. Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!

Oh, and I am hersheybar26. Totally forgot to mention that. Heh.


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